Her Thoughts - Australia

I used to wear a large smile when I talk to friends about the upcoming trip. And I felt giddy every time I thought of it. I was super excited for it, counting down the months, then the weeks.. until a few days ago.

For me, planning for a trip is half the fun. Reading about the place, learning about a different culture, knowing your way around is comparable to the actual trip itself. In my past trips, everyone involved was invited to help out in the planning. Everyone was encouraged to read about the places we planned to go to and pick out the sites they wanted to see. Everyone's choices were supposedly incorporated into the itinerary, but only a few really did bother to read. So ultimately, the entirely planning was up to me. And boy, was I happy.

Fast forward to the current situation. Knowing that we both know that we both enjoy planning trips, I thought it would be fun if we'd both plan the trip together. So I quickly went on to put up an online document for us to post our ideas. Then slowly, I started filling them. Weeks passed and I didn't see any changes to the document. This didn't bother me at all as I thought we had the same things planned.

Slowly we started searching for accommodations. Days went by with us searching, deciding on nothing. I did my own search, listed them on the document, and waited for him to do his own research. For days, we sent links to each other back and forth showing the other of possible options. I thought that at the end of the day, we'd sort through our list and then decide.

On one of those searching days, I only got one link. Noticing that it was nowhere close to the city's main attractions, I went off and did another round of research. Little did I know that it was his final choice.

The fun began when I started throwing out other options. We discussed a little and went through more options. After realizing that the one he initially suggested was the best for us, I gave in and consented to booking it. But he now refused. Responsibility for booking our hotel was thrown at me.

After discussing it at the end of the day, I learned that what he wanted was only one person deciding on the accommodation. And the itinerary? Some items on my lists were highlighted, but he printed his own. So not what I had in mind.

So I've now backed off on the planning. The enthusiasm in me has died. But a part of me still looks forward to this trip, knowing that I'll be traveling with the man I love.

* Planning for this trip is a wake-up call for me. Being both alike and different, we have to learn to settle our differences and similarities. We are both the eldest, and as such, we are used to having our decisions followed. But this eldest-child syndrome has to go. We both need to be able to listen to each other and discuss with an open mind. This trip will pass and all will be forgotten. But what's greater and more important is being able to hand-in-hand sort out whatever life hands us.